How Voldemort was Really Defeated

My dad and I, and a group of people I've never seen before who were apparently my friends, were running around a mall. Voldemort appeared and I was freaking out because he had a wand, but none of us Muggles had wands and he was firing Avada Kedavra willy nilly all over the place.
How were we supposed to defeat him when we had absolutely no weapons? Dad suggested that we play tag, but I knew that wasn't going to help.

I herded Voldemort up onto the mezzanine floor, where I would proceed to push Voldemore down the escalator. I did this several times, hoping, praying, that he would break his neck. But he never died.

Finally, Edward Cullen appeared. "Don't worry, guys!" he cried, "I'll take one for the team!" and then he proceeded to take off his trousers and seduce Voldemort.

Wonderfully, it worked, and me, Dad, and my friends managed to escape!

Turnips

Callum and I are in an underground tunnel. I look up and there are roots coming out of the roof. We had been in there for days and I was worrying about food. I voiced this aloud.
"Let's have turnips!" replied Callum
"But I don't like turnips" I grumbled
From then on, Callum said chirpily "Let's have turnips" over and over and over again.
No matter how many times I said that I didn't like turnips and told him to shut up, he kept on saying it.
It was highly annoying.

Don't Borrow THAT

This is an extract of a very elaborate dream. I don't remember much of it but this is the bit that stood out, and is the only one that makes enough sense to talk about. I am like a ghost in this part of the dream and so no interaction is made with me. The Doctor is Matt Smith.

Amy's house. The Doctor had no place to stay so he spent the night at Amy's house.
Amy wakes up rather early in the morning for some reason. She puts on her dressing gown, walks down the stairs and enters the kitchen.
On the bench is a note. It says:

"Dear Amy,

I have borrowed some of your clothes.
Don't worry.
Kind regards,

The Doctor"

At that point in time, the Doctor walks into the room wearing a tutu.

Just so you know, Matt Smith does not look good in a tutu
*shudders*

David Tennants and Werewolves

It's dark. It usually is dark at night. Anyway, the point is, it's dark.
I venture into a garden with Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, both are in their Hogwarts uniform.
Suddenly Ron spots some broken glass.
"Ooh! Look! Broken glass!"
He points his wand at the small pile and cries: "Reparo!"
The glass forms into a weapon of sorts.
Ron holds it like a bazooka and presses the end which looks like - which basically is - the base of a wine glass. A bright circle of light appears out of the other end of the 'weapon' and hits the low garden brick wall.
Ron and I get really excited.
"Ooh! A light!"
"Can I have a go?"
Harry doesn't actually do anything. He's just there.

After some fun with the glass torch we make our way up a path to a run-down, rather shabby looking shack.
We enter through dusty french doors and find ourselves confronted by none other than David Tennant. On either side of him, much like menacing bodyguards or henchman, stood shorter versions of David Tennant.
Then, without warning, all three of them turn into werewolves! It was quite scary actually. The three of them are still standing upright and their shoulders down look perfectly David Tennant, but the heads...
The heads are just really gruesome, hairy Lupus Gigantormus heads.
Harry and Ron are scared stiff, but not I!
I grab the glass torch out of Ron's hands and shine the light onto the three werewolves. They all transform horribly back into human form and run away.

The three of us, feeling rather proud of ourselves yet still relieved, venture on through the house/shack thing.
Then there stood David Tennant - another one - and two more Short David Tennant Henchpeople.
We know they are werewolves - but they are still in human form! The light doesn't work on werewolves in human form!
What happened next is slightly fuzzy, but we somehow defeated them. Well, I did anyway.

We move on further into the house and then we come across, yes, three more David Tennants!
These David Tennants are already in wolf form. I am feeling very merry. Oh, eradicating werewolves is such good fun! And so I howl,
"Ahwoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"
and laugh.
Then out of the corner comes another werewolf, no not David Tennant, but a stooping, short, slimy werewolf-headed-human-thing.
The Stooping-Short-Slimy-Werewolf-Headed-Human-Thing then grabs me and chucks me out of the shack.
I am appalled! How dare he do that to me.
I wave him aside and go back indoors. There stood the last three David Tennant Lupus Gigantormi and two new creatures.
Yes, Harry and Ron had got bitten by the Head David Tennant while I was out and were now werewolves too.

...

I took them home. Although now, they had turned into a random girl and guy I had never seen before. It's late and I am quite scared. There are werewolves - two werewolves - in my house and it was full moon. What if they bit me during the night? I bet they are scheming against me.
Just after that thought, the guy werewolf sneaks past in that cliched sneaking way, cackling:
"It's 10:30 now. Time to go to bed!"
That was just creepy.
Then I remember: "ARGH! You haven't taken your Wolfsbane Potion tonight!"
I start running around my room, freaking out.
"We have to go to St. Mundungus immediately!"
I brought the two werewolves outside and we apparated to the Wizarding Hospital.
I knew it wasn't called St. Mundungus and I spent most of the rest of the dream trying to remember what it really was called.

The Wizarding Hospital is called St. Mungo's as featured in Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix

The Nightmare Button

Last night:

I was sitting in class. Mr Scott was once again our Form Teacher. Everyone was talking animatedly to those beside them.
Alone on the far side of the room, I slouched in my chair and looked at my desk.
There was a big, shiny red button.
Each desk had one of these buttons. Out of boredom I pressed it multiple times.
Suddenly, a siren sounded.
I jumped and ran to where Bobbi, EJ, Andy, Alex and Chloe were.
That button just so happened to be the Nightmare Button. A memory jumped into my mind. Mr Scott had explained to us that that button was only to be pressed when you were having a nightmare, and the Nightmare Uniform was to be worn at all times. The Nightmare Uniform happened to just be a green rugby jersey, worn under our school uniform.
The siren was blearing and Mr Scott quietened the class.
"Whenever the Nightmare Button is pushed, school ends early."
So we all milled outside and readied ourselves to go home.
In the corridor, EJ turned to me,
"I need to visit the boys bathroom." she said, as if it was a completely normal thing to do.
"Good luck," Bobbi replied as EJ went into a bathroom.

Mistress (as named by Alex)

On the night of the fourth of August:

I'm on a hiking track with a large pack on my back. There are lots of trees.
I continue down the track and arrive at a small amusement park on a wonky hill. My pack disappears and I wander around.
I see Mr Plummer and, along with some other students, I follow him and he takes us back onto the hiking track. He leads us to an awesome house in the middle of the forest. It's single storied and has those huge wide windows so that there's hardly any wall. There are those random box seats in the lounge and we sit down. Mr Plummer then goes on about Physics and how we should know everything because we're accelerate and so on and so forth in his usual boyish ways.
I left the house and went down the tracks again. Mr Plummer's voice followed me:
"I trust you can do this, you have the potential..."

I entered ECC, the main auditorium. All the curtains were closed and it was quite dark. Most people from my church were there. It was the youth service and all the kids and high school students were running around and flashing cards about Job (the bible character guy) all over the place.

Suddenly a small black vintage car appeared. I jumped into it and the guy in the driver's seat drove me to a place that looked very much like the D-Block Quad. I saw a young woman who happened to be my mistress and I was her servant. For some reason she was very afraid of stairs so I, and another servant girl, had to help her down these really big stairs. It was quite frightening, actually.
We lead our mistress to a dance floor. There was her dance partner and husband. Our master.
He was tall, handsome and just so happened to be David Tennant.
Our Mistress went off with the other servant girl to talk with a close friend of hers.
David approached me.
I don't know how it happened, but suddenly I was in his arms and we were dancing around the dance floor to Hay Un Amigo En Mi.

It was quite exciting!

Naturally, my Mistress caught us and she challenged me to a duel - with Samurai Swords!
While we talked, I twiddled a wand in my left hand.

But then Callum thumped down the hall and "whispered":
"SHOULD WE TURN THE LIGHT OFF?!"
and woke me up.

Naturally, I was upset.

Markus, and his Drumstick of Power!

It was night.
I was walking around a dense, dark forest, ferns and huge kauri surrounding me (chasing after a morepork, collecting gems along the way).
Then I came to clearing.
There stood David Tennant and another man I didn't recognise. He was shorter than David but had a bigger build and looked as if he could smash David if they had a fight. I joined their conversation.
"Markus," David said jovially, "as you know, I'm the Doctor, well I haven't always been."
"Oh?" Markus's eyebrows raised.
"Yeah," David replied, "the guy before me threw this magic and made this awesome hill! It's the best hill in the world to go sliding!"
The three of us venture to the edge of the forest. There was a massive and steep hill that fell into the sea. However, the waves had erroded the bottom of the cliff.
A man in police uniform approaches us:
"You cannot slide down this hill," His big frown made him look like a toad, "It's too dangerous."
I look over his shoulder. I see kids sliding down the hill and playing about in the sea.
As he walks away, David groans.
"Awww, I can't fix this!" he cries, taking out his Sonic Screwdriver and looking at it sorrowfully.
Markus turns to him, concern in his face.
"If you can't fix it," his tone is serious, "you can't be the Doctor."
David shrugs.
"You're right," he sighs.
And then the magic of the Doctor flowed out of his Sonic Screwdriver and into Markus's very large, now, Drumstick of Power.

David was depressed.
He sat in his Ford Anglia in a dark alleyway. Mopingly, he plays with the wheel.
Two patrolling officers come by. David rolls down his window.
"Are you all right?" ask one of the officers. Both are bending down to peer into David's car.
David shakes his head.
"I used to be the Doctor." he weeps.
"I'm sorry sir, but we will have to arrest you."
David ignored them.
"But Markus is now!" he whined, "Now he's going to rule the world!"
The two officers looked at each other.
"Tell you what," said the other officer, "We can give you a job as an undercover agent."

At the theatre, David is quite dashing in a handsome black tuxedo and a sneaky mask, somehow making him that much more attractive ... anyway moving on.
He is one of the ushers.
Then, the president walks in. David keeps a close eye on him.
But! As the play starts, Markus and his Drumstick of Power arrives.
"Mua-ha-ha-HAH!!!" he cries, and points his Drumstick of Power at the president.
"I will rule THE WORLD!!"
"No!" David cries and he rugby tackles Markus through the curtains and into backstage.
After some scruffling, David emerges victorious and Markus is sent to a mental assylum.

Suddenly I find myself with my cousin, walking around a dark castle, with purple brick walls.
I know, somehow, that I have exactly $21.20 in my wallet.
We exit the back gates and walk into a beautiful and very colourful courtyard garden. I notice David wondering around behind massive flax bushes, but I don't interact with him.
Then, a big, black humma drives right into the middle of this would-be wonderful, peaceful paradise. And, just to ruin the moment entirely, out sruts Miley Cyrus and her two big, bulky bodyguards in white suits. Absolutely no one wants her here and so we start a massive riot!
David runs in.
"Quiet! Quiet!" he shouts over the loud babble.
He turns to miss Cyrus and snarles: "Get outta here."
She sniffs, turns her nose up and huffs away, to the relief of everyone present.
She gets into her humma, which is now orange, and orders the bodyguards to "DRIVE!"
Everyone cheers!