Turnips

Callum and I are in an underground tunnel. I look up and there are roots coming out of the roof. We had been in there for days and I was worrying about food. I voiced this aloud.
"Let's have turnips!" replied Callum
"But I don't like turnips" I grumbled
From then on, Callum said chirpily "Let's have turnips" over and over and over again.
No matter how many times I said that I didn't like turnips and told him to shut up, he kept on saying it.
It was highly annoying.

Don't Borrow THAT

This is an extract of a very elaborate dream. I don't remember much of it but this is the bit that stood out, and is the only one that makes enough sense to talk about. I am like a ghost in this part of the dream and so no interaction is made with me. The Doctor is Matt Smith.

Amy's house. The Doctor had no place to stay so he spent the night at Amy's house.
Amy wakes up rather early in the morning for some reason. She puts on her dressing gown, walks down the stairs and enters the kitchen.
On the bench is a note. It says:

"Dear Amy,

I have borrowed some of your clothes.
Don't worry.
Kind regards,

The Doctor"

At that point in time, the Doctor walks into the room wearing a tutu.

Just so you know, Matt Smith does not look good in a tutu
*shudders*

David Tennants and Werewolves

It's dark. It usually is dark at night. Anyway, the point is, it's dark.
I venture into a garden with Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, both are in their Hogwarts uniform.
Suddenly Ron spots some broken glass.
"Ooh! Look! Broken glass!"
He points his wand at the small pile and cries: "Reparo!"
The glass forms into a weapon of sorts.
Ron holds it like a bazooka and presses the end which looks like - which basically is - the base of a wine glass. A bright circle of light appears out of the other end of the 'weapon' and hits the low garden brick wall.
Ron and I get really excited.
"Ooh! A light!"
"Can I have a go?"
Harry doesn't actually do anything. He's just there.

After some fun with the glass torch we make our way up a path to a run-down, rather shabby looking shack.
We enter through dusty french doors and find ourselves confronted by none other than David Tennant. On either side of him, much like menacing bodyguards or henchman, stood shorter versions of David Tennant.
Then, without warning, all three of them turn into werewolves! It was quite scary actually. The three of them are still standing upright and their shoulders down look perfectly David Tennant, but the heads...
The heads are just really gruesome, hairy Lupus Gigantormus heads.
Harry and Ron are scared stiff, but not I!
I grab the glass torch out of Ron's hands and shine the light onto the three werewolves. They all transform horribly back into human form and run away.

The three of us, feeling rather proud of ourselves yet still relieved, venture on through the house/shack thing.
Then there stood David Tennant - another one - and two more Short David Tennant Henchpeople.
We know they are werewolves - but they are still in human form! The light doesn't work on werewolves in human form!
What happened next is slightly fuzzy, but we somehow defeated them. Well, I did anyway.

We move on further into the house and then we come across, yes, three more David Tennants!
These David Tennants are already in wolf form. I am feeling very merry. Oh, eradicating werewolves is such good fun! And so I howl,
"Ahwoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"
and laugh.
Then out of the corner comes another werewolf, no not David Tennant, but a stooping, short, slimy werewolf-headed-human-thing.
The Stooping-Short-Slimy-Werewolf-Headed-Human-Thing then grabs me and chucks me out of the shack.
I am appalled! How dare he do that to me.
I wave him aside and go back indoors. There stood the last three David Tennant Lupus Gigantormi and two new creatures.
Yes, Harry and Ron had got bitten by the Head David Tennant while I was out and were now werewolves too.

...

I took them home. Although now, they had turned into a random girl and guy I had never seen before. It's late and I am quite scared. There are werewolves - two werewolves - in my house and it was full moon. What if they bit me during the night? I bet they are scheming against me.
Just after that thought, the guy werewolf sneaks past in that cliched sneaking way, cackling:
"It's 10:30 now. Time to go to bed!"
That was just creepy.
Then I remember: "ARGH! You haven't taken your Wolfsbane Potion tonight!"
I start running around my room, freaking out.
"We have to go to St. Mundungus immediately!"
I brought the two werewolves outside and we apparated to the Wizarding Hospital.
I knew it wasn't called St. Mundungus and I spent most of the rest of the dream trying to remember what it really was called.

The Wizarding Hospital is called St. Mungo's as featured in Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix

The Nightmare Button

Last night:

I was sitting in class. Mr Scott was once again our Form Teacher. Everyone was talking animatedly to those beside them.
Alone on the far side of the room, I slouched in my chair and looked at my desk.
There was a big, shiny red button.
Each desk had one of these buttons. Out of boredom I pressed it multiple times.
Suddenly, a siren sounded.
I jumped and ran to where Bobbi, EJ, Andy, Alex and Chloe were.
That button just so happened to be the Nightmare Button. A memory jumped into my mind. Mr Scott had explained to us that that button was only to be pressed when you were having a nightmare, and the Nightmare Uniform was to be worn at all times. The Nightmare Uniform happened to just be a green rugby jersey, worn under our school uniform.
The siren was blearing and Mr Scott quietened the class.
"Whenever the Nightmare Button is pushed, school ends early."
So we all milled outside and readied ourselves to go home.
In the corridor, EJ turned to me,
"I need to visit the boys bathroom." she said, as if it was a completely normal thing to do.
"Good luck," Bobbi replied as EJ went into a bathroom.

Mistress (as named by Alex)

On the night of the fourth of August:

I'm on a hiking track with a large pack on my back. There are lots of trees.
I continue down the track and arrive at a small amusement park on a wonky hill. My pack disappears and I wander around.
I see Mr Plummer and, along with some other students, I follow him and he takes us back onto the hiking track. He leads us to an awesome house in the middle of the forest. It's single storied and has those huge wide windows so that there's hardly any wall. There are those random box seats in the lounge and we sit down. Mr Plummer then goes on about Physics and how we should know everything because we're accelerate and so on and so forth in his usual boyish ways.
I left the house and went down the tracks again. Mr Plummer's voice followed me:
"I trust you can do this, you have the potential..."

I entered ECC, the main auditorium. All the curtains were closed and it was quite dark. Most people from my church were there. It was the youth service and all the kids and high school students were running around and flashing cards about Job (the bible character guy) all over the place.

Suddenly a small black vintage car appeared. I jumped into it and the guy in the driver's seat drove me to a place that looked very much like the D-Block Quad. I saw a young woman who happened to be my mistress and I was her servant. For some reason she was very afraid of stairs so I, and another servant girl, had to help her down these really big stairs. It was quite frightening, actually.
We lead our mistress to a dance floor. There was her dance partner and husband. Our master.
He was tall, handsome and just so happened to be David Tennant.
Our Mistress went off with the other servant girl to talk with a close friend of hers.
David approached me.
I don't know how it happened, but suddenly I was in his arms and we were dancing around the dance floor to Hay Un Amigo En Mi.

It was quite exciting!

Naturally, my Mistress caught us and she challenged me to a duel - with Samurai Swords!
While we talked, I twiddled a wand in my left hand.

But then Callum thumped down the hall and "whispered":
"SHOULD WE TURN THE LIGHT OFF?!"
and woke me up.

Naturally, I was upset.

Markus, and his Drumstick of Power!

It was night.
I was walking around a dense, dark forest, ferns and huge kauri surrounding me (chasing after a morepork, collecting gems along the way).
Then I came to clearing.
There stood David Tennant and another man I didn't recognise. He was shorter than David but had a bigger build and looked as if he could smash David if they had a fight. I joined their conversation.
"Markus," David said jovially, "as you know, I'm the Doctor, well I haven't always been."
"Oh?" Markus's eyebrows raised.
"Yeah," David replied, "the guy before me threw this magic and made this awesome hill! It's the best hill in the world to go sliding!"
The three of us venture to the edge of the forest. There was a massive and steep hill that fell into the sea. However, the waves had erroded the bottom of the cliff.
A man in police uniform approaches us:
"You cannot slide down this hill," His big frown made him look like a toad, "It's too dangerous."
I look over his shoulder. I see kids sliding down the hill and playing about in the sea.
As he walks away, David groans.
"Awww, I can't fix this!" he cries, taking out his Sonic Screwdriver and looking at it sorrowfully.
Markus turns to him, concern in his face.
"If you can't fix it," his tone is serious, "you can't be the Doctor."
David shrugs.
"You're right," he sighs.
And then the magic of the Doctor flowed out of his Sonic Screwdriver and into Markus's very large, now, Drumstick of Power.

David was depressed.
He sat in his Ford Anglia in a dark alleyway. Mopingly, he plays with the wheel.
Two patrolling officers come by. David rolls down his window.
"Are you all right?" ask one of the officers. Both are bending down to peer into David's car.
David shakes his head.
"I used to be the Doctor." he weeps.
"I'm sorry sir, but we will have to arrest you."
David ignored them.
"But Markus is now!" he whined, "Now he's going to rule the world!"
The two officers looked at each other.
"Tell you what," said the other officer, "We can give you a job as an undercover agent."

At the theatre, David is quite dashing in a handsome black tuxedo and a sneaky mask, somehow making him that much more attractive ... anyway moving on.
He is one of the ushers.
Then, the president walks in. David keeps a close eye on him.
But! As the play starts, Markus and his Drumstick of Power arrives.
"Mua-ha-ha-HAH!!!" he cries, and points his Drumstick of Power at the president.
"I will rule THE WORLD!!"
"No!" David cries and he rugby tackles Markus through the curtains and into backstage.
After some scruffling, David emerges victorious and Markus is sent to a mental assylum.

Suddenly I find myself with my cousin, walking around a dark castle, with purple brick walls.
I know, somehow, that I have exactly $21.20 in my wallet.
We exit the back gates and walk into a beautiful and very colourful courtyard garden. I notice David wondering around behind massive flax bushes, but I don't interact with him.
Then, a big, black humma drives right into the middle of this would-be wonderful, peaceful paradise. And, just to ruin the moment entirely, out sruts Miley Cyrus and her two big, bulky bodyguards in white suits. Absolutely no one wants her here and so we start a massive riot!
David runs in.
"Quiet! Quiet!" he shouts over the loud babble.
He turns to miss Cyrus and snarles: "Get outta here."
She sniffs, turns her nose up and huffs away, to the relief of everyone present.
She gets into her humma, which is now orange, and orders the bodyguards to "DRIVE!"
Everyone cheers!

The Doctor, The Spoon and The Iron Giant

Have you seen the adverts for that new British drama on Prime called Survivors? It's when this lady finds something in her armpits and runs outside to find someone but no one answers.

On Thursday the 29th, I had this dream:

All the survivors are captured and put into a compound to be watched. The Doctor and I are captured together and sent to this compound. There are little bach-like houses and there are quite a few people about. There are two "guards" or owners of this compound and they are a married couple. The man is Big, Bulky and Bald. While the wife is Fat, Flabby yet Fit. The Doctor takes out his Sonic Screwdriver and decides to poke around. I go to investigate the guards' house. It is then that I realise how many traps are around the place. All these nets and nets and holes and nets to catch the people of the compound who are sneaking around.

I go around the back of the guards' house to try to find a sneaky way in. But the back yard is full of traps. I cannot go further, nor can I go back. So I call the Doctor to help me out of this predicament:

"Doctor! Help! Can you get on the roof and lift me out of here?"

Unfortunately, the Doctor did not pause to listen to what I had to say and only heard "Doctor! Help!".

Which is why I heard a yelp as the Doctor was caught in a big cargo net trap.

It was good that the Doctor had activated this trap because I could now get away. I freed the Doctor from the trap and went to confront the guards.

The big woman came after me and started to attack me. Fortunately a big spade had appeared in my hands and I hit her across the head with the flat. She fell to the ground and to make sure she wouldn't get back up again I wacked her on the back a few times.
Then the big man came. I wacked the man around the head, with the flat side of the spade again, but he didn't fall to the ground. He grabbed the spade from me to use it as his own weapon. I looked down at the ground and had a choice between two new weapons: a hammer or a spoon.

Naturally, I picked the spoon up.

I dodged a swing of the spade and thrust the spoon into the man's eye. I scooped it out and it fell into his hand.

Angry, he clamped his hand into a fist, squishing the eye. Blood spurted all over the place. Then, magically, we swapped weapons and I wacked him across the head with the flat of the spade. I was afraid to use the sharp end. I didn't want to kill him.

Then the Doctor and I told everyone to run away.

Once we were out of the compound, which I had just noticed to be surrounded by a HUGE security fence, I looked over to the left and on a hill was a rather large and beautiful house.
It stood on a cliff and overlooked the sea. Then, suddenly, the Iron Giant came and picked me up and took me to the house.
The Doctor forgotten.


In this dream, the Doctor is the eleventh Doctor (Matt Smith)

Untitled

Last night I had a dream. Naturally.
Though, all I remember is a vague dialog. Here it is.

I stood under the dark, empty canopy of night, on a clifftop, looking over a valley of lush trees and gushing streams.
I watched the stars wink at me, as a tear silently fell down my cheek.
My friend walked up behind me, a big grin on their face.
Hello, they said.
Hello, I replied dully.
What are you doing?
Praying.
It doesn't look like you're praying.
What do you think praying looks like?
Getting on your hands and knees, putting your palms together and shutting your eyes.
Well, if that helps you pray.
What helps you pray?
Looking at the stars.
Cool.
I need to tell you something.
OK.
...
...
I feel so alone.
If God hadn't been with me, I don't know what I would have done.
Imagine.
Imagine if I weren't a Christian, if my parents weren't Christian and I hadn't grown up as a Christian, in a Christian family.
Imagine what I'd be like.
...
I would feel so, so alone.
I would be empty.
I would have no purpose.
I would try to find one, and fail.
I would try to fill the gap in my heart.
I would fill it with smoke, drugs and alcohol.
I wouldn't be here. Alive.
I wouldn't know you, be your friend.
I wouldn't be ambitious, intelligent.
I wouldn't be me.
...
Funny how a single belief, one tiny thought, can change your life.
Change your future.
I still feel empty and alone, but God is with me.
I have a purpose and a big part in his plan.
And, despite the emptiness and loneliness, I feel special.
Someone loves me
And that's all I need.
Someone who loves me unconditionally.
Someone who loves me despite the wreck I am.
Someone who will always be there no matter what I think or say about him.
And for that I am eternally grateful.

With what God has given me I try to give to you:
love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness and faithfulness.
Although 'peace' is definitely crossed off my list.
Sorry.

I am not saying you have been horrible friends, on the contrary, I've rarely met better
- only my family bests you.
Nor is this some form of suicidal speech - everyone feels down at times.

I'm just saying that for you guys I'll stay.
For you, I will survive a dark winter of my life.
For it is you, my friends, whom I will continue to love.

And God will be forever after by my side,
whether he exists or not.

The truth of Christianity

A Mind of Mush

On the night of the 16th of March:

A famous group called The Guardians have returned and continue their control over the world. They own a pot-like object called the Intertarceal and when it was turned on, no one was allowed to talk. There were many followers of this group and James May, Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and Karl Urban were prominent supporters, though it was rumoured they were actually some of the leaders.

Alex T and I were going to meet Bobbi at the cinemas, but because of the Guardians, like many other things, the theatre had to be secret, so it was deep underground. So deep in fact, that it was common to see magma streams through the passages.
Because of the dangerous circumstances there was a large network of railways and trains to take people around, quickly and quietly.
However, they couldn't stop.
Alex and I walked down steep tunnels to a small and dingy station. The only light was emitting off the magma. Another man was there but he took no notice of us. The train approached and Alex told me to jump onto it when it came past. I was new to the whole thing and was shocked when the man and Alex jumped onto the speeding train.
I took a moment to breathe and prepared myself for the jump. I was starting to regret wearing jandles to the occasion.
I jumped and barely made it onto one of the carriages.
Because of the means people had to board the trains there were no roofs nor walls.
Merely a steel floor.
I caught up with Alex. Soon the train came up to the station we were to jump off to. I managed to do it quite successfully. Of course Alex was much more graceful. We climbed a narrow path, scolding my feet on the way, and came to a large gap in the road. A small canyon rather, with a slow-moving magma river at the bottom. The only way to get across was over a three inch wide piece of rotting wood with the paint peeling. Not that it needed paint in the first place. It was pinned to each side of the canyon by two hardy nails.
Alex power-walked lightly over the plank with a great confidence.
"C'mon Jaz! Hurry up!" Alex was getting impatient.
I steadied my breathing and crouched, planning to crawl along the plank on my hands and knees. I slowly made my way across, gaining splinters in my hands, until I reached the very middle. That was when the plank split, right underneath me.
I yelped.
"Alex! Help!" I cried. My fingers gripped the plank so hard, I cut my palm.
All I could see were her feet as I was too frightened to look up in case it shifted the balance of the plank and I fell. The sad thing was, I heard no reply, nor did I see those feet move. I gripped the plank harder and I could feel the blood trickling down my hand.
Then, the wood around the big, tough nails started to splinter too. The nails were letting go of the beam that held my life!
"AH!" I cried again, and I jumped with all my might to the other side.
I lay on the ground panting.
"Thank you, Alex." I muttered.
"You took your time." Alex miffed.
I shakily stood up and looked behind me.
The plank looked normal again. No crack in the middle, no splinters falling off around the nails. My eyes narrowed. Stupid wood.

Alex and I carried on through those dark tunnels. Finally, we saw Bobbi. She was waiting outside an open doorway, a hole cut into the rock.
My jandles continuously slipped underneath my feet as we went along, and I continued to get scolded by lumps of near-molten rock.
Bobbi looks into the cinema.
"Ooh! It's Karl Urban!" she squealed VERY loudly.
As a high profile celebrity, Karl Urban wouldn't want attention so I hit Bobbi, lightly, on the shoulder to shut her up. However, two young boys lining up had heard her and started whispering excitedly. Suddenly, a huge crowd is around us, all wanting to catch a glimpse of Karl Urban. They were very noisy and talkative. Then someone shushed us all:
"Sssh! The Intertarceal is still in play."
There were a few groans and one person said:
"Stupid Guardians! Why do they have to have an Intertarceal anyway?"
Then all fell silent.
The crowd then suddenly disappeared.
It was quite eerie.
I was all alone.
Karl Urban made his way out of the cinema, towards me. My stomach flipped.
Karl Urban is coming to talk to me!
"You know," he said, "it isn't nice to insult people in public, especially the Guardians."
Oh, he thought I was the one who complained.
"The Guardians aren't that bad once you get to know them so get to know people when you meet them. It's good for you. You should watch a movie."
Righto, but it wasn't me! I wanted to say, but I was too ashamed.
Then he walked away. Talk about getting to know someone when you meet them.

Alex, Bobbi and I made our way back up to the surface to meet up with Andy, EJ and Anoovi. We all sat on the side of a path in a beautiful park, and took out our packed lunches to eat. Bobbi's phone started to ring.
"Oh, Jaz, can you get that?" she asked, with half her body in her pack, looking for her sandwiches.
"Sure," I replied, picking up her phone. It was a nice, new, shiny black BlackBerry. I raised an eyebrow. Rich. The screen showed "mum" was calling. I pressed "answer".
"Hey, it's Jaz," I said into the speaker, "Bob can't take the call 'coz she's rifling through her bag, so I took it. How are you?"
"Oh yes, I'm fine." Bobbi's mum answered. It was unusually squeaky. "How was the movie?"
Something sparked within me. I had forgotten to tell the others.
"OH MY GOSH! Guys!" I shouted, "WE SAW KARL URBAN!"
You can probably see that I was very excited.
"Oh, yes" agreed Bobbi.
"He was in the cinema," I explained, "and he was waiting in line. Then Bobbi shouted: "Look! It's Karl Urban!" and I hit her, lightly, because she was being rude, but these boys heard her and started whispering to each other then this whole gaggle of people were milling around us and they were so noisy and one complained about the Intertarceal, then they all disappeared and then Karl Urban came out and told me off because he thought it was me who had complained and then he also walked away."
I gasped for breath.
"He was scrawnier than I had expected," I said as an after thought.
"Yeah," Bobbi contemplated, "maybe he bulks up before every movie he does."

After our little party I went home. Dad was watching TV. I sit down and watch it with him. Homer Simpson is on the screen. He's playing the Throw-Plunger-And-Go-Get-Beer-And-Doughnut-Before-Anybody-Else-Who-Notices-The-Plunger-Does game. He throws a plunger at his neighbour's window, then gets into his pink sedan and races to the dairy to buy a beer and doughnut. But some fat guy comes out with a beer and doughnut. Homer has lost. Then he drives to Carpet Court and looks at carpets.

Dad then decided to take us all shopping. In the car I then started to tell everyone all about my adventures with Karl Urban but no one was listening. Then dad shushes me.
"The Intertarceal" Dad whispers. I frown.
He drives up to an intersection. There Jeremy Clarkson is waving traffic in the middle. Dad turns right and as we pass him, Clarkson shakes his head disappointingly at me.

On the waterfront, my family decides to ditch me. All alone, I notice Bobbi and EJ. Delighted, I went to join them. They were going to meet Andy. We did, then Andy ditched us and went into some empty shop with a "For Rent" sign on it. Jack C was in there so I don't particularly know what her motive was for going in.
So we walked aimlessly down the path. Then I took my Invisability Cloak out and the three of us hid under it as we sneaked into the Subway Office block.
Through the foyer and into a corrider. The walls are steel grey and the doors look ominous but still, we continue our sneaking, undetered. But, oh dear, we'd hit a dead end. A locked security door stood in our path to Ultimate Sneakiness. What to do? Bobbi and EJ got out from under the cloak and went to the nearby security guard. He didn't think they were naughty trespassers because they were wearing their clever Subway Employee Disguises! They stole his security pass and we went through that locked security door, myself still invisible. We entered this huge library place. A few guards were hanging around.
"Get back under the cloak," I hissed, "You'll get caught!"
But Bobbi and EJ ignored me and well, they didn't get caught anyway.

We walked back out and met up with EJ's parents. They started running around in circles complaining about random stuff and waving their arms vigorously in the air. After a while I noticed EJ was missing.
We all started jumping around and yelling out her name.

Night fell, and I mopingly stumbled onto a beach. EJ was still missing. I watched the navy blue waves lap the stones of the shore. I sighed and started to wander back up the bank when I saw a black shadow. Curiosity overwhelmed me and I went to investigate. It was a big black capsule. I touched it. Suddenly it opened. I jumped back in shock as smoke and faded green light poured out of it. Then EJ fell out and landed on her hands and knees, spluttering and choking, taking in deep, raspy breaths. She looked quite pitiful.
However, instead of feeling concern, I was excited!
"Ooh! You were abducted!" I shouted gleefully.
EJ didn't seem impressed.

Dreams

Dreams are the result of our brain putting together little slices of memory into one big cake while we sleep. Sometimes the cake can be exquisite, sometimes absolutely disgusting and sometimes quite queer. That's not the same for me. My brain makes up weird concoctions and my cakes always, ALWAYS turn out queer.
This is just an introduction to what you will be reading in this blog. I sometimes tell my friends my dreams at school.
My opening sentence is always: "I had a weird dream last night."
Then Andrea would pipe up: "Jaz, it's not a weird dream as you always have them. Which means their normal."
Normal for me.
So this blog is all about my normal dreams.
Well, the ones I can remember really.

School, Cows and Masks

Well, on the night of the 26th of Feburary I had a dream. When I had this dream my family was holidaying in Australia, even though my brothers and I should have been at school. Well, here it is:

Ok, so this lady who, in the dream, was my aunt's friend, took over the school and acted like Proffesor Umbridge and we had to remove her from power by midnight. So the rebellion began. Hehe, it was quite fun. Oh and then there were these cows and sheep in this grid-ed paddock and they were being abducted. So I went into the paddock to save them but one of my "friends" - but was actually just some random polynesian guy my imagination made up - tried to stop me. He kept yelling "You'd get abducted too!"
Then, after spending a long and intense time at the paddock, my brother and I went to this invention convention, which was in a wharehouse-like shed. It was smokey and the invention being shown off was gas masks for cows. People were carrying the cows, who were wearing the masks, like you would carry a child, which was weird, but it seemed completely normal in the dream. The gas masks however were more like snorkle masks.